


Unwanted Recollections

by Iamthesmileyface



Series: Red Tulips [3]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Funerals, Gen, Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 09:36:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10160330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iamthesmileyface/pseuds/Iamthesmileyface
Summary: The night, directly after





	

**Author's Note:**

> Mathias - Denmark  
> Jans - Netherlands  
> Emma - Belgium  
> Luka - Luxembourg

Mathias wishes he could say the funeral passed in a blur. Maybe then Emma’s sobbing and Luka’s lost expression wouldn't be haunting him, hours after. But the truth was that the funeral was crystal clear in his head, every agonizing second, every pitying glance and murmured  apologies for his loss , as if any of that made it better, made it easier to deal with the fact that Jans was  dead  and  buried , buried with a bundle of tulips in his coffin--.

 

His friends had stood with him throughout the service, for all the good that did. The funeral was well-attended, despite the cold facade Jans presented ( used to present) to everyone. Nearly everyone they knew was there, their mournful, tear-stained faces carved into Mathias’s memory. It was a simplistic ceremony, just the closed coffin lowered into the ground and a few words said by each. Jans would have probably liked it, or at least liked how little it cost.

 

The tombstone was less cheap. He'd commissioned it himself, and Emma had nearly laughed when she saw it. 

“He would have hated it,”  she had said, through the shivering little sobs wracking her frame.  “Who even ordered it?”

Mathias had mustered up a cracking smile.  “Actually, he asked for that on there.”

She had shaken her head, disbelieving.

“Well, what he said was more along the lines of ‘If anyone puts somethin’ that dumb on my tombstone, I'll haunt ‘em forever,’ so…” he had trailed off with a chuckle that felt as if it was coated in broken glass. She had half-laughed, more sob than laugh really. But it had been there.

 

He shifted, grimacing as his cheek landed in the tear-soaked patch on his pillow. He rolled over, wrapping the fuzzy purple blanket tighter around himself. It didn't change anything, didn't change the fact that all he could see when he closed his eyes was the blank face of the coffin, the coffin that held the man he loves  (what was left of him, what they could scrape off the road) . The bed was too big, too cold, too empty without Jans in it. But his bones, his soul were leaden, and refused to move. He wiped at the steady trickle of tears dripping down his face.

 

The blanket still smelled like Jans. 

**Author's Note:**

> So, I haven't written anything for this fandom in about a year but at ten o'clock on a school night, I got inspired and couldn't sleep until I'd written this. Leave a kudos or a comment if you liked it!


End file.
